Are You Addicted To Online Dating?

Many people only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. (You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam.) It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction. It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life. All of a sudden they are getting 5 to10 e-mails a day from prospective dates!

The addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. Even if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it doesn’t work out. Many are content to just chat online. This can keep people interested for a few months without ever meeting them, because that is all they want. This should be viewed as a Red Flag. (They are probably married or in a relationship.)

Another ongoing situation with online dating, is how often people get contacted by some of the same interests as their friends. It can be very difficult to hear how their date went when yours may be scheduled in the next week with the same person. It sounds like they are being disloyal but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.

Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in! Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. When someone is into you, they will make it happen.

9 SIGNS YOU ARE ADDICTED:

• The minute you get home you turn on your computer
• You socialize less with friends
• You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything.
• You check to see when your “past” dates are going online
• You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
• You are becoming moody with regards to lack of online responses
• You get depressed when there are no contacts every day
• You are becoming introverted and removed.
• You have approached the same people more than once without realizing it.

Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiraling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd. It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site; some people are on three or more.

The “free dating sites” are the most popular to join for obvious reasons. Trouble is everybody and their dog joins them, and they have nothing to lose financially. Many people are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something. The old saying: “you get what you pay for”, can be a true cliché in this case.

Don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes. With so much to choose from and so many frivolous situations pending, it can be difficult to meet someone of substance. By being true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there won’t be a huge list of suitors for you to keep up with. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality when finding that special life partner at the end of the day.
Susan McCord @ youtube.com/twobeavers

Mrs. Huges Video On Her Relationship & Family

Mrs Hughes is a comedian that is amazing! This woman is hilarious!
Enjoy...

My girlfriend is very sarcastic

VIEWER QUESTION: My girlfriend is very sarcastic and it is starting to get to me…

Hi Susan, I hope you can help me with this and I appreciate you being totally honest with how you respond. My girlfriend of 5 years is a beautiful woman but she is not happy in her job as a waitress. (On the contrary I love my job as a fireman.) We live together and were inseparable for the first 3 years. She has always been a little sarcastic and I used to think it was funny & meant in a lighthearted way. Now I feel she is using it at my expense & I do not find it humorous in the least, and it’s very derogatory. She has a few girlfriends that she treats the same way and I have noticed they are coming around less & less. I have told her how I feel but she can’t seem to help herself and is still sarcastic on a daily basis. I am almost ready to leave our relationship but still love her. What do you suggest?

Almost Done Daniel

Answer

Hi Daniel, I am so glad you wrote! I am not a fan of sarcasm and never have been. It has a very small place in the world of communication but occasionally there can be some funny one liners & needed comebacks. For the most part though, it is a nasty way of verbalizing what someone really wants to say in a negative way. They think if they add humor it will lose the real intent of their feelings. Sarcasm is used by people who are insecure for the most part. It makes them feel better by shutting someone else down in a playful way. The problem is, it isn’t playful after the second & third time it is repeated.

You mentioned your girlfriend is not happy in her job, that is where her insecurity lies. She is mad at herself for not changing her life & takes it out on you by using these sarcastic jabs. You on the other hand, have a prestigious job where many women put you on a pedestal. This just adds fuel to her insecurities & she unknowingly sabotages your relationship. If you want to salvage this partnership, two things have to change.

She must leave her job even if it means you supporting her while she goes to school or learns a new career. Communicate to her how this sarcasm has to stop or you will leave the house every time she uses it. It is not to be tolerated and she needs to realize how often it is happening. (No confrontation, just remove yourself from the situation.) Make sure you are giving her positive feedback on a regular basis as this will contribute to her feeling less insecure as well. Making these alterations should put you on your way to a stronger & healthier relationship. Good for you for caring and making the effort to fix things at home. So many people would just walk out & not even try to understand how to correct it. Your girlfriend may just need a little support to change her ways.

Susan McCord

Dating Tips: My Best Friend's Fiance is hitting on me!

VIEWER QUESTION: My Best Friend’s Fiance Is Hitting on me!

I hate the man my best friend is marrying. He is abrasive, chauvinistic and sometimes I even feel like he is hitting on me. I don’t even feel like I can approach my friend about this because she keeps telling me how perfect he is for her. Should I tell her how I feel?

Caring Friend

ANSWER

This is your “best” friend so it should be a no-brainer. Diplomacy is everything when discussing sensitive subjects. Leave out the hurtful parts about him humping your leg at any given chance, and start off gently with something you, and a few other friends noticed. There is an old saying that if more than two people tell you the same thing, you should listen!

Women really need to be more like men when it comes to these issues. Men say it like it is, and don’t hold a grudge. Don’t let her make the biggest mistake of her life. It is worth a little confrontation if it means saving her from a life of relationship Hell. We could all use a friend like that!

Susan McCord http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Female Body Odor Down There- Question from a Male Viewer

VIEWER QUESTION:

A boyfriend writes in to Talk Show about how to deal with his girlfriends newly acquired odor down there. How does he tell her and what can be done about it?

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
Andrea Wesley @ http://www.MusicToMySoul-Tulip.Blogsp...

Dating Talk: Simple Tips on "How to meet men"

Many women in Vancouver do not realize they are sabotaging meeting men, due to their own actions (or lack of actions.) Put yourself out there ladies, show men you are fun and willing to get out of your comfort zone occasionally. Body language can be your best friend when it comes to meeting men. Be aware of it!

One of the biggest questions I hear from women is where do you meet guys? Vancouver Dating Coach, Mick Lolekonda says this is one of the most popular discussions with his female clients.

Why is it so difficult for some women to meet a man? Is it because they do not get outside their home enough and make an effort? Maybe they don’t have enough interests that bring them into new circles. Being single means adding diversity to your life. Getting active and having a good "open attitude" is the best thing a women can do to get noticed.

• Go to a golf driving range and practice your swing, have a drink in the clubhouse after.
• Play tennis (play against the wall by yourself, this will bring partners to you even if you are not fantastic)
• Join a gym which is the best networking place anywhere (not a ladies only!)
• Local hiking and other adventures for singles (many cities have groups you can join for this activity)
• Take night courses at BCIT or Langara college
• Go to Lounges with live music

Lack of confidence is a date "killer", but the more a woman puts herself “out there” the more she will become comfortable in many different surroundings. Going to places that men frequent the most, sporting good stores, home depot, gyms and athletic events will improve a woman's chances of meeting a man in a sober environment. Attending the odd baseball or hockey game is also a good idea. (Women are still the minority at these venues, so they will stand out.) Women need to be themselves and leave the phony facade at home. Men like a woman who is down to earth and real. Having to peel off the onion layers will not keep a man interested.

Being adventurous and willing to try different things is all men really want to see, despite women thinking they have to be fantastic at everything they attempt. Going for a bike ride or taking in a football game, is simple and appreciated by most men in Vancouver. It’s not that difficult to stay active in the dating market, if little effort is made. You may actually get to have that second date and find someone compatible to be your partner down the road.
Susan McCord

How to have sexy shoulders (& look good in that little black dress)

Many people say how hard it is to compete with all the fit, good looking singles out there in Vancouver’s dating market, but how many of them really make the effort to get in shape? It is very easy to make excuses of being too busy to make it to the gym due to family or work related issues. Is it really just that people are too lazy to fit an exercise regimen in their lives because they would rather do anything but a workout? Who wants to date someone who doesn’t take pride in their health and fitness management?

Sun bathing or jogging at Vancouver’s beaches can be intimidating for individuals trying to get in shape. Hanging around Kitsilano or Yaletown is evidence at just how many hard bodies reside in this beautiful city. Coastal cities everywhere will have this same competition, because where there are beaches, there are bikini’s and speedos. It makes everyone more aware of their appearance and in many cases, insecure. Women check out other women more than men do. “What do men see in her?” “she has cellulite” “she looks good because she paid for it!” No woman wants to admit that they want to see a little flaw in even the most beautiful women. It is a sad, but comforting to many women who need the affirmation that they are not the only ones with imperfections.

Contrary to what most women think, men are not as critical about a woman carrying a few extra pounds. Men just want a woman to make an effort to keep fit, she doesn’t have to be running the Vancouver marathon or hiking up the grouse grind 4 times per week. They want a woman who takes care of herself but is not obsessed with her body and is spending 4 hours a day at Steve Nash/Fitness World. There has to be moderation and life has to have diversity. If you want a partner that looks good and takes care of them self, then it needs to be reciprocated. The person that is always making the effort, will ultimately lose interest in the partner who isn’t.

Walking an hour a day or joining a gym will not only help you meet new people and potential dates, but will lift your moods and self esteem. Getting started is difficult especially for those that are overweight. Start out at home with a beginner fitness DVD or invest in a treadmill, stationary bike or elliptical. Mark the calendar for exercise times like an appointment booking and follow through with it. Set the equipment next to the TV and do it during your favorite show or the CTV news hour after or before work. This way you can save a gym membership until you feel ready to be seen in public, and use that money to have a permanent piece of equipment at home. That way there is no excuse,& you have to walk by it every day as a reminder. If Vancouver condo living has space restrictions, there are machines that fold up under your bed when not in use. Everyone should be doing some form of cardiovascular workout and strength training. It is an investment in your health that should be a daily priority. Not caring about yourself is the sure way to put out to the universe that you won’t care about anyone else either.

Susan McCord @ http://www.beavertalk.com & http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

How Long Should Sex Last?

Viewer Advice Question:

As a Man who really enjoys sex, I was wondering how long each sexual encounter should last?

Signed Minute Man

Dating & Socializing in Vancouver (Over Age 35)

Breathtaking mountains surrounded by numerous beaches make Vancouver, British Columbia one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Numerous restaurants and coffee shops line the popular and trendy sections of the downtown core. There are approximately 2,500,000 million people living in the lower mainland of Vancouver of all ethnicity's, which adds to the variations of excellent cuisine and culture!

The dating life in Vancouver is a conversation discussed regularly by the locals and visitors alike. (or lack of it!) What seems to be the problem? Canadians as a rule are more reserved than Americans or Europeans and for that reason alone, do not meet people easily in their own city. Traveling Canadians are seen as friendly and have a wonderful reputation throughout the world. Maybe this is due to the fact that people are more assertive when they are not being judged in their own environment. What do they have to lose?

Single people over thirty-five living in Vancouver are at a loss of where to meet someone and where to go out at night. There are areas that definitely cater to the younger crowd, but there are quite a few venues to hang out and not feel like a desperate lounge lizard for older men and women.

There is nothing wrong with going to the lounge of a restaurant and having a drink. Sitting at the bar is easier to meet others and start up a conversation. Cardero's in Coal Harbour and the Sandbar Restaurant on Granville Island are two of these establishments. Joe Fortes, near the hub of Robson Street is also a very popular hangout, especially in the warmer months when the beautiful roof top deck is open. Joey’s on Burrard St. has an amazing bar area that is nicely congested as well as the new Keg in Yaletown.

Mingling is the key to conversation. When trying to meet someone, do not seclude yourself in a booth at the back of a restaurant, choose an open environment. Going out in a group is intimidating to the opposite sex, try to avoid that scenario. Smile at the people you come in contact and don’t be afraid to say hi. Hanging around the washrooms handing out toiletries might work faster, but learning how to say hello is the easiest ice breaker ever.

At the very least be receptive to everyone who makes the effort to acknowledge you. Being too selective with your social contacts, may end up being the demise to your future dating life. You never know when you are being observed. Snubbing someone rudely because they are not your type could end up being a friend of the one you are attracted to.
Susan McCord

Dating Advice: Are You Addicted to Online Dating Sites?

Many people only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam. It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction! It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life, to getting 5 e-mails a day from prospective dates!

Part of the problem is, the addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. And if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it doesn’t work out. Even just online chatting, can keep people interested for a few months without ever meeting them, because that is all they want. This should be viewed as a Red Flag. (They are probably married or in a relationship.)

One of the frustrations with online dating, is how often people get contacted by the same people as their friends. It sounds like they are being disloyal but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.

Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in. Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. When someone is into you, you will know. If it feels like it is too much work, it probably is.

9 SIGNS YOU ARE ADDICTED:

• The minute you get home you turn on your computer
• You socialize less with friends
• You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything
• You check to see what your past dates are doing on line!
• You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
• You are becoming moody with regards to lack of online responses.
• You get depressed when there are no contacts every day.
• You are becoming introverted and removed.
• You have approached the same people more than once without realizing it.

Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiraling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd.

It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site; some people are on three or more. The “free dating sites,” are the most popular to join for obvious reasons. Trouble is everybody and their dog joins them, and they have nothing to lose financially. Many people are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something. The old saying: “you get what you pay for”, can be a true cliché in this case.

Don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes. With so much to choose from and so many frivolous situations pending, it can be difficult to meet someone of substance. Being true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there won’t be a huge list of suitors to keep up with. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality when finding that special life partner, at the end of the day.
Susan McCord

Dating Advice For Women: Be real sexually!

Mick Lolekonda is a successful “dating coach” who offers a six week service to both men women in Vancouver, BC. His non- intimidating and friendly personality helps his clients to relax and remove anxiety. Mick’s genuine sincerity and extensive education helps teach people how to remove old patterns and become their “own” matchmaker. “He’s convinced that women, as independent as they are today, long for genuine romance, seduction and a dignified sense of direction from their men. And yes, a woman may help the man out through the process, but ultimately still wants him to figure it out on his own.”

Mick recently Co-hosted a successful event with Wear Else, a women’s upscale clothing shop in kitsilano. (Wear Else is the winner for “best women’s apparel of 2010” by The Westender.) The audience geared towards women for this particular event with fashion assistance offered by the friendly Wear Else staff. Flutes of champagne & strawberry treats made the atmosphere relaxed and opened the floor to guest’s participation!

Conversation included:

· Why men don't call you back when you thought there was chemistry and what to do remedy this occurrence?

· How to attract the right men and where to find them?

· Why does it take men 3 days or longer to call after a date?

· Let the man take some initiative, do not chase him aggressively.

Mick’s evening program answered questions that women of all cultures were curious about. His male perspective was refreshing and educating for the female audience. The testimonials afterward, testify this to be true. Mick “practises what he preaches,” and is a well dressed and classy man right down to his trendy shoes. Mick is masculine yet gentle, which earns an immediate trust from his clients and anyone who initially meets him. Men do not feel judged or threatened by him which allows them to let their guard down with a unique comfort level.

Improving men & women’s dating experiences in Vancouver or any other city is an ongoing learning experience that everyone can excel from. Refresher courses and new concepts will keep even the biggest dating sceptics feeling like taking a chance on love. Everyone deserves to be loved and experience a fulfilling partnership...Sometimes we just need a little help to get us on the right path.

Susan McCord

Gay Pride Parade - Vancouver 2010

Vancouver has a large gay population which boasts numerous venues and yearly events. Visitors from all over the world attend two annual parties, The Gay Pride Parade Day and Whistler's Gay & Lesbian ski week.

Pride day this year was Sunday August 1, 2010. The parade had an audience of over 700,000 and was lined up in colorful fashion throughout the 20 block progression ending at the "Sunset Beach Festival Site" for a continued celebration. The entertainment was non-stop and talented people wanting to participate next year can contact entertainment@vancouverpride.ca

The Gay nightlife in Vancouver is very exciting. Davie Street has the most popular establishments in the city. Celebrities and Numbers nightclubs have been around for years and are seldom without a line up in the late evening. Pumpjack pub caters to men in leather who like sports on the big screen. Score on Davie is also a sports bar featuring all the pay per view hockey games, half price burgers on Wednesdays and an outdoor patio. The Fountainhead pub has a large covered deck which is great for checking out all the talent cruising up and down Davie Street on a warm summer or spring evening. (Other Venues on Davie Street are: Sugar Daddy's, 1181, & the Davie Village Cafe)

There are a few well known lesbian hangouts in Vancouver. Havana's, Stella's, Turks, JJ Bean Coffee House, The End Cafe are all located Commercial Drive on the east side which seems to attract much of the lesbian community. It is a warm and friendly section of town and simply called "the drive" by many of the regulars. There are numerous bars & restaurants with Italian & Spanish cuisine being the most common theme among them. There are antique shops, vintage stores and even a sex shop. Womyns'Ware is a well known store that caters to the sexual needs of women, and well worth a visit whether you are straight or gay.

Vancouver is a festive city all year long in the gay community. Making friends and "feeling a part of it," just means taking a stroll down Davie Street, Denman or Commercial at anytime during the day or evening. People in Vancouver are proud of their city and love showing off the beauty and excitement that it offers. I am a straight woman who loves the zest for life attitude, in Vancouver’s Gay environment. The straight community could learn a few things from this amazing group of people!
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Dating: Right Person-Wrong Time

This has probably happened to most people at one time in their lives. How many times do we hear of couples reuniting at a high school reunion 30 years later? That lost love that got away because the timing wasn’t right?

Is it really bad timing or is it really just the wrong person? When love is wonderful, it doesn’t have to be difficult. It just feels right and the adjustments are not obstacles but compromises

There are definitely obstacles in your younger years such as career focus or University. Meeting someone at that stage in your life is not meant to be forever. That time is for you to grow so that you do make wise choices for your future.

We all make choices for what we think the better path, but is it?
Are we just too immature to see what we have at the time? What happens if the love of your life appears when you are in your teens? This is not uncommon! Timing is everything and sometimes we don’t pay attention to what is obvious and right in front of us. How many people have let the right person get away due to other priorities?

Age can play an important factor in your choices. Especially if you are an older woman and your biological clock is ticking like a time bomb. Some women will forfeit love to get pregnant at that stage. Dating checklists can also be relationship killers due to the picky or shallow demands some people prioritize. Sometimes we do not know they are the right person until they are gone from our lives.

People talk about their soul mate all the time. Is there one such person for everyone? Maybe, but if we let them get away and they do not try to come back, they definitely were not your soul mate. Because a soul mate should be there for life if it is that good.

Many people who were picky until their late 30’s, eventually settle with a partner just so they were not alone as they get older. This is sad and maybe everyone needs to look in the mirror as a reminder that we all have good qualities and we all have flaws. No one is immune to this.

If you do feel like you are repeating a pattern of unreasonable checklists, it could be due commitment issues. Put yourself around friends that have a healthy relationship. Being in that environment could help alleviate the fear by seeing how wonderful a great relationship can be for the soul.

Have you spent years pining over someone whom you thought was that right person who got away, only to see them again and apart from a physical attraction, there really wasn’t much else? Ask yourself why you spent so much time over this fantasy. Knowing when it is purely a physical lust or true love is the answer to your happiness. I do believe that timing IS everything & when you are ready you will allow that “right” person in.”
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

The Game of Love-Dating Sabotage!

We all play games in relationships,especially in the beginning. Why do we do this and is it OK? Vancouver women are said to be high maintenance and stand offish while the men are labeled as uninterested and not aggressive enough. Why can't we get it together and just be ourselves? Because many of us are not comfortable in our own skin and do not know how to be ourselves! Our video below sheds some light on this subject...Susan McCord