Many people only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. (You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam.) It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction. It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life. All of a sudden they are getting 5 to10 e-mails a day from prospective dates!
The addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. Even if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it doesn’t work out. Many are content to just chat online. This can keep people interested for a few months without ever meeting them, because that is all they want. This should be viewed as a Red Flag. (They are probably married or in a relationship.)
Another ongoing situation with online dating, is how often people get contacted by some of the same interests as their friends. It can be very difficult to hear how their date went when yours may be scheduled in the next week with the same person. It sounds like they are being disloyal but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.
Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in! Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. When someone is into you, they will make it happen.
9 SIGNS YOU ARE ADDICTED:
• The minute you get home you turn on your computer
• You socialize less with friends
• You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything.
• You check to see when your “past” dates are going online
• You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
• You are becoming moody with regards to lack of online responses
• You get depressed when there are no contacts every day
• You are becoming introverted and removed.
• You have approached the same people more than once without realizing it.
Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiraling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd. It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site; some people are on three or more.
The “free dating sites” are the most popular to join for obvious reasons. Trouble is everybody and their dog joins them, and they have nothing to lose financially. Many people are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something. The old saying: “you get what you pay for”, can be a true cliché in this case.
Don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes. With so much to choose from and so many frivolous situations pending, it can be difficult to meet someone of substance. By being true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there won’t be a huge list of suitors for you to keep up with. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality when finding that special life partner at the end of the day.
Susan McCord @ youtube.com/twobeavers
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